| Way Overdue Edition |
 It takes a legend to motivate me. Dan Yochum got the call up to Dan Smith, after many years grinding it out on teams like Coffee Cup, Showcase, etc. he's in the big time. The Dudley Champ wants 12's, he gets 12's; but after another weekend at the ballpark I'm in a bad mood - I'm going to pick on some people in this column and call some teams out for not performing up to my high standards - let the ripping begin!!!!!!!First off, since I last posted - my squad has played in a couple of tournies. The ASA C qualifier in Mound was very well run, thank you Bundy for the hospitality. I joined my team on Sunday, after coaching all day Saturday and we were able to run off 5 in a row - including the sweep of Outkast at the end of the tourney. What a nice environment, in the C there was nothing but competition - no trash talk at all. However, in the D, we walked in and had to listen to punks who won it - Performance Asphalt - run their yippers. Shut up. My team wanted to play them right then and there, and were really pulling for Skyline to beat them. PA is this year's Dave's Sports Shop. I hate you all.....Hate Hate Hate....I'm hoping to go to the Hater's Ball this year with Buck Nasty, Pit Bull and the Chapelle Crew. You know why there is no Frolics Upper? Because that tournament has been broken for years. Back when I played for Lenzen we took 2nd one year - but the Chip got rained out. You know why? Because they had to play the All-Star Game in front of it, only it wasn't for All-Stars. It was the people from the Chamber of Commerce and City Board Members. How lame is that? To the contrary, it is the greatest USSSA D Tourney of all times - 70 teams!!! You can't beat it, BBS/Miken will be looking to improve on our 3rd place performance last year - without the legendary Forsy(we know he's on the Major Circuit) - stop calling Turnberg. But since there is no tourney, I'll tell you who would have won. CC would have beaten Redwood in the Chip, Tharldson's would have ended up 4th. See 00's, it's easier this way. Spudfest was run superbly, no suprise there - anyone who knows Ponter knows he's a quality guy. He worked hard to run a great tourney, and the support staff is really excited about making this a Can't Miss Tourney. BBS/Miken was able to come back through the Loser's Bracket in this one to Double Dip the suprisingly spry Minnesota Merchants. Speaking of the Merchants - what a great group of legends of the game!! It's amazing how well Jesse, Jim Guess, Billy, Hex and the boys still hit the ball. You better be ready to score 20+ if you are going to beat those guys, and as always Roy Ward and Tom do a great job scouting other teams tendencies. Poor Hermie was near tears hitting ball after ball at the perfectly placed 2nd baseman. Unfortunately when playing these guys you have to put up with a couple of clowns. "Swenny" is the biggest human rain delay of all times on the mound - what a whiny baby. Give me a break. He acted like your typical 22 year old player. Lastly, I love my guy Fish - I was happy to see him with this group - but I can't handle his buddy Starky. We've got good power hitters on our team, but nobody hits the ball as far as the Spud Webb impersonator. Now don't get me wrong, he makes plays and has a great lefty swing - but 400 foot bombs with a bat that sounds just like it was ordered from T's 13 makes a guy wonder. But maybe it gives me hope, do you think your power really kicks in once you reach 45????? Couple more things from Spudfest, in our loss Saturday against a nice young squad called Chatters - Shane Pauly drilled me with a line drive in the ribs, I was running between 2nd and 3rd. For all those who've ever wanted to give me a beating - there you have it. I have a huge softball sized bruise on my rib cage - and you can almost make out .44 core NRG on it. If I had to pick a top 5 in Minnesota of guys I don't want to have drill me in the ribs it would go: Shane Pauly, Geno Buck, Geno Burdick, Chaun Demars and Shane Pauly again. It hurts - but I won't rub it. Lastly, before the 12's - some things never change. Which came 1st, the chicken or the egg? Do you become an ahole after you join the Rockets or do you have to be an ahole to play on the Rockets? If Robbie sponsored my team, would everyone on the team - even Al - become an ahole? Seriously, top of the first Sunday morning, they score 6 off 2 bombs and 2 JT delivered walks. They, in typical Rocket USSSA fashion, start talking crap. Next inning they use their last 2 bombs to get them to 9 total - we go on to run rule them without talking back. Shockingly, in the end, it's all the umpires fault. It's not the fault of a bunch of pricks(please exclude my guys Reno and Nelly from this list) who don't run out ground balls and rallied for one more run after the bombs were used up. Does Robbie ever get sick of it or is he to blame? Can't even make Top 5 at SpudFest, you get run ruled by guys who may have grandkids and by my misfit squad? Nelly run. You're too good for that mess. Snodie, you can talk trash about anchient history all you want but it won't bother me one bit. You're young enough to get out of that mess. Run. Even if you have to go back to D ball. Run. Told you I wasn't looking to be nice this week, the 12's: 1. CC - Even without Yokes they showed well at the Dudley. You got to hand it to Geno, he's put together another winner. Someone steal Seth Brown's energy drinks so he'll stop chasing the other teams runners around the bases. As my high schoolers would say, "It's creepy." 2. Redwood - Do they have any power yet? I'm hearing rumors of a little team arguing here and there, but I'm sure they will hold it together. 3. J@H - Congrats on coming back with a solid performance in Albertville - I knew they weren't a one year wonder. 4. Tharaldson's - Riggo's crew needs me to light a fire under them!!! They are putting all their eggs in the Fireman's basket, here's hoping they make another run. Sounds like they will be aided by the addition of Jason Kendrick down the stretch. Got to add firepower when you are playing in the bigs!!! 5. Viessman/BBS - This is just based on reputation right now, they need to step up. 6. Selloxx - This is just because they have the best ASA pitcher around. They need to show something. 7. BBS/Miken - This is only because I write this column, and my teammates are playing very well. I'm going to add this, we made two full time additions this year in Shane Pauly and Brice from the MN Hitmen. If you can find two better teammates - good luck. No one plays harder than Shane Pauly in the field, he takes a lot of pride in hustling and backing up plays. And he can hit the ball very, very hard. The best thing about him is that he's not too proud to beat out an infield single - young players can learn a lot by watching him. As for Brice, he's hitting around .750 and goes to all fields - he's a hitting clinic. Props to those two. 8. Team Viesmann - These guys have played solid ball this season. 9. ESB - Based on last year, and a hunch that they are due to make a run. 10. MN Jazz/Lucky 13's - Qualified for C Nationals in a 3 game series win over the MN Hitmen this Saturday. Talk about earning a berth the smart way. A good manager is worth his weight in gold - and Jimmy goes about 180 lbs. They haven't played their best yet, but they finish well. Watch out for them and ESB in Rochester. 11. All-American Restoration - Scary Power. I'm not excited about facing them on VV 4 at 9:00 Friday at the Fireman's, I'd rather face some slap hitters. They've got a team built for the Fireman's. It should be a doozy. 12. Homes Unlimited - They could be a Fireman's factor. Others: Chatters - One of the best young clubs I've seen. They put defense first, and have an outstanding pitcher. Good attitudes as well. We've played them 3 times this season, won two - but all close games - they are legit. 2nd best team at SpudFest this weekend, but the crafty vets got em in extras. BBS/Jonny's - 2nd weekend in July they'll run the show in Elba. MN Mission - OC is old, Brooks is old, they're all old!!! But good. MN Easton - Solid group. Outpost - Where did they go? Outkast - Great hitting team. Sorry that I've been too busy to post - hope this is what you've been looking for!!! Good night now. |